We all love our friends. I just wish that they weren’t prone to getting so big-headed. A few pranks here and there are a good way to cut them back down to size.
My friend’s birthday was the other week. We took him out to a bar and ploughed him with drinks. He got drunk really fast and it felt like a good time to play a prank on him. He always was a belligerent drunk, prone to boasting about how great he is at everything so I decided to offer him a challenge. I bet him that he couldn’t balance a bottle on the palm of each hand. Never one to back down, he accepted my challenge. He placed both palms on the table and I put two beer bottles on the back of his hands. Even for a drunk person it’s simple enough to do as long as you can stay still. The bottles stayed upright, he whooped with delight then I stood up and said goodbye. That’s when he realized that he couldn’t move. I laughed and walked away from the table, which is when I heard the crash of bottles landing on the ground. Oops.
After finishing high school my friend was really nervous about getting her acceptance letters from the colleges that she applied to. She went to the post office every other day and always came back dejected because her letter hadn’t arrived yet. She started to get really irritable so I figured I’d give her something to calm her down. I typed out a letter, pasted her first-choice school’s logo on the letter-head and posted it to her. When she opened it up, it read that the college that she’d applied to was actually a front school for Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, signed by the Dean of Admissions, Professor Minerva McGonagall. It read that she’d been accepted and she was required to report to school on the first of September. I saw her on the second of September and she had a nasty bump on her forehead. She refused to explain how she got it however I suspect that there may a platform wall at the train station with her face-print on it.
You’d think that I would have outgrown my love for practical jokes by the time I was in college but an opportunity presented itself that I couldn’t resist. My room-mate at the time was a little anal-retentive when it came to keeping the bathroom in order so I decided to make her bathroom experience a memorable one. She would get these organic soap-bars from the local farmer’s market and leave them on the sink in the bathroom. One day when she was out I covered the soap bar with clear nail vanish. A couple of days later I found the soap bar in the bin, and another bar in the bathroom so I did it again. Once again I found the bar in the trash and this time she switched to liquid soap. My only regret is that I wasn’t there to watch her scrubbing over and over again, unable to figure out why her soap wouldn’t lather.
You may be wondering what God my friends pissed off to have a person like me in their lives. I like to think that I’m more of a blessing. Who else will take the time to remind them that life is not that serious?