Having a happy and long marriage appears to be elusive for more than half the population. With the divorce rates increasing each year, it seems as if couples no longer understand the ways to build a long lasting marriage. There are lots of communication and disrespect issues going around. To that, add the rising infidelity problem, and you have fair recipe for marital disaster. The following are essential tips on marriage advice that can help you pave a way through all issues.
1. Respect: Being respectful to your partner can go a long way to developing a long marriage. There is definitely going to be problems anytime disrespect arises in any relationship, intimate or otherwise. You need two mature individuals who desire the best for each other. Wake up each morning and think of ways to make the life of your spouse better.
2. Remember that communication is paramount: Converse now on everything including money, expectations, dreams and goals as well as likes and dislikes. You need to know that about your spouse. Even if you do not agree on something, take time and have a discussion over it.
3. Romance: We cannot expect that romance will always remain the same once we get married. As years pass by, the love and marriage evolves and changes into a different and deeper form. It will not always be fireworks 10 or 20 years down the line with your partner. In any case, you have raised kids with this person, probably seen them with flu and have paid bills with your partner and even more. Marriage is not always a bed of roses after you have spent so many years with someone. Therefore, you really have to ensure you go out of your way and add those romantic touches’ to the marriage.
4. Agree or at least agree to disagree on major life decisions such as religious affirmations and on whether or not to have children.
5. Discuss your individual philosophies concerning money: Are you going to operate a joint bank account or have them separate. What about planning about retirement? In case one of you is a spender and the other a saver, how are you going to develop a system which works best for both of you?
6. Goal: You, as a couple, should have future goals that you share with one another. While it is fine to have your personal goals, there is need for some goals related to both you and your partner. These goals may include various travel destinations to tour or hobbies that you would like to engage in together. Set these goals up together as a couple and work towards accomplishing them together.
7. Avoid negative energy: It is totally possible to have happy marriages these days contrary to popular belief. Tuning out and ignoring all the bad stuff that you hear and read about in the media is a way to move towards a long lasting marriage.
8. Counseling: Married couples normally go for counseling in order to improve their relationship. It is not necessary to wait for bigger problems to happen so as to obtain counseling on how one can make their relationship even better.
9. Make sure you can live together and have tolerance on each Others habits, behavior and quirks. Culture tends to focus much on love. Though important in relationships, love has a great practical aspect to it. Your spouse is also your room mate, co-parent and co-owner of all your possessions. If you cannot work on these issues together, love is not going to help you.
10. Learn ways to fight constructively: You need to be capable of fighting just as effectively as you do talking about the weather. Everyone in a relationship will have to fight at some point. Even if you need space and come back later to discuss on the issue rationally, you are still communicating and fighting well.
11. Put down the devices whenever your partner talks to you: It is pretty devastating to know that someone you love the most ignores you or just gives you 50% attention. Even if you can multitask while looking at the TV, it is important to give full attention to your partner by looking at them.
12. Laugh together: Try to enjoy your time together and laugh at least morning before getting out of the bed. Laughter makes everything else simpler.
13. Admit when you are wrong: So many fights end once one partner admits that they are wrong rather than stubbornly holding your ground long after you both realize that the arguments do not make any sense.
14. Be friends: Never underestimate the value of being friends with your partner. This holds as much weight as physical and romantic attraction. There are uneventful and quiet times that you shall be spending together. Marry your best friend. The looks and making love will go away eventually, but the friendship shall last a lifestyle.
15. Forget changing the other person: Attempting to change your spouse to fit your standards won’t help you accomplish anything in marriage. Love them the way they are with no expectation of them ever changing.
16. Take full responsibility over your own emotions: Your spouse’s job is not to make you happy. You are responsible for discovering your own happiness. Through this, your joy shall spill over onto your love and relationship.
17. Honesty: This is essential in establishing happy marriages. Do not hide any emotions since this can cause underlying problems and can result in a long lasting rift. Being honest with one another on everything builds the bond of trust.
18. Be vulnerable: You do not have to have it all together. Therefore, be willing to share your feelings and fears and be quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
19. Forgive immediately: Forgive and focus on the future instead of carrying past weight. Do not allow your past to hold you hostage. When you hold onto past mistakes which either you or they made, is like having a heavy anchor to the marriage and this shall hold you back.
20. Never stop growing together: A stagnant pond breeds malaria while the flowing stream is constantly cool and fresh. Do not stop working on your relationship.