The first stage of a relationship or courtship when people start dating is definitely the most important time of the relationship or courtship. It is natural to go on a few dates with someone before the courtship could be established. These few dates actually determine how the relationship turns out. If one does something stupid during the date, the chances of its survival could fade away or disappear immediately.
While someone is excited that they have met someone new or are actually moving on to a new and exciting part of their lifetime, one has to make sure that they do not go too far ahead of themselves. There is nothing anyone can do about what they think on a new dating adventure. However, the goal is to keep any of these thoughts from coming out. Immediately the thoughts turn into actions, things could go horribly wrong. Here are 20 Things You Should Never Do When You First Start Dating;
1. Brag or Lie
Never ever brag or lie. If you talk like you are everything in the world, you might risk the chances of having the relationship. When you lie, then you have to keep remembering the lie every time you meet your significant other. After very many dates, will you still be able to remember all your lies? It is good to avoid lying because when the other person eventually finds out the truth, your relationship or courtship will be in shambles.
2. Rush Things
One of the easiest ways to have a meaningful relationship is to let it grow gradually. Take your time and give yourselves time to want to be in the relationship. Avoid overcrowding the other person’s space, it could get them scared.
3. Play hard to get
You should not be easy, neither should you play very hard to get. It is advisable to get a middle ground between the two.
Do not pretend to be someone or something that you are not, even if this thing is what the other person really likes. If this thing that you may try to be is the reason of the relationship, then there is no point of having the relationship at all.
5. Focus on money
Men tend to be cautious of women who spend a lot of money and expect to be treated like princesses. This applies to the women too. Avoid dwelling on money once you meet. If you go on a date, always offer to foot the bill or split it. Once one person notices that they tend to spend more money on you, it could raise a problem. If you cannot afford the expensive outings, find cheaper ones that will enable you to have a good time too.
6. Don’t Drink or smoke too much
There is nothing more unattractive than dating a chain smoker or a drinker. Too much drinking has different consequences. It could lead to violence which can cause problems in the relationship. If your partner does not like the cigarette smell as well, it could lead to a problem. Too much drinking increases the chances of losing your next life partner . These things could cause the relationship to end in its early stages.
7. Ask invasive questions
Know your boundaries. Avoid questions that could sound intimidating or embarrassing. Save some of these questions for after you have known your partner, if they are really necessary.
8. Constantly find flaws in your partner and telling him/her
As much as communication is important in a relationship, find a way to communicate in a civil manner. Find a balance to avoid sounding like you are constantly whining about everything. It could sound negative and put off the other person.
9. Be too intimate
Do not overstep the boundaries. A kiss on the first date can be too much. Be civil and avoid things that could send other signals.
10. Create drama
Avoid making minor niggles into major issues. If you have a problem about something, talk about it with your partner without causing too much drama especially in public. Men especially are not mind readers; they do not like making drama out of life. It is advisable to talk about issues in a good way with no quarreling or shouting.
11. Set crazy rules
We all know and seldom set rules about a relationship. If you have a rule you follow before you get into a courtship, you do not have to let the other person know. It could make them lose interest or think that you are crazy.
12. Get clingy or insecure
Most people can tolerate clingy people in the later stages of relationships. However, if these clingy signs start to show early, one can decide to run away. Constantly calling or texting in a day can become excessive and annoying.
13. Hold controversial topics
You wouldn’t want to turn every conversation you have into a debate about religions, beliefs or politics, now would you?
14. Stalk them on Facebook
These days most people’s reaction to meeting someone for the first time and getting to know their last name is immediately looking for them on Facebook and requesting to be their friend. Then people tend to stalk your pictures to find out details about the other person. This is wrong. Facebook is a social tool; it should not replace the old fashioned way of getting to know each other.
15. Get Intimate too soon
You need to build the relationship by becoming friends first then building the trust for each other. A relationship will change after making love together. Build a good foundation first for the relationship before you become intimate.
16. Follow them on twitter
While it could look like a good idea to follow the person you have started dating on twitter, it could look rushed. People do not tweet from the heart, and it could be easily misinterpreted.
17. Go to dates late constantly
Punctuality is a very important aspect in any courtship. If you arrive late, apologies to the other person. Avoid making up stupid reasons for your lateness especially if it’s recurrent.
18. Invade too much privacy
Nobody likes to feel like they are being investigated. You have many other things to talk about other than someone’s savings, salaries or past relationships.
19. Not appreciate your partner
It is good to always appreciate your partner with acts of kindness every time they do something nice for you. When one is not appreciated, they will not do small special things for you again.
20. Get too busy for the courtship
It takes time and effort for a relationship to work, so if one person is always busy working or hanging out with his/her friends, the relationship will suffer. Being too busy sends the message that you are not interested. If you do not have time for him/her, she/he will definitely not have time for you as well.
It may seem like a lot of work, but once the relationship is set and moving, nothing will make you happier.