Being in a relationship is a beautiful feeling. Whether you are dating someone, or you are married, it is a blessing to have someone with you. The other person works like your support system. But when you stay with a person day and night especially after weddings, it becomes quite obvious that you quite often indulge in a fight or an argument. Fighting with your boyfriend or husband is quite healthy. There is nothing wrong about it. In fact, sometimes fights bring out some hidden feelings between husband and wife, habits or issues. This may help you in helping your partner. As a result, fights are healthy as well as they help you in many ways.
But, during a fight it is very important that you do not lose control over your emotions. Losing control over your emotions may make you say things which are not so acceptable. For that reason, keep good control over your tongue no matter how bad the fight is. The best way to keep control over your emotions and tongue is to keep quiet and not talk at that particular moment.
A few things which you should always avoid saying during a fight are listed below. You must take care of these vital things :
1.“There! We are again on the same track”
To make it sound even more effective you would accompany it with your eyes rolling or even your head shaking. But, to dismiss the concerns of your partner is surely a wrong way to make him or her feel immature or stupid. Using such phrases might hurt their feelings and they feel irritated. This might also result in them making no efforts for resolving any issue henceforth.
2.“ I’m always ignored”
Try to avoid such absolute statements. These could be statements containing words like “Always”, “Never”, etc. Such phrases are just untruthful because it does not always happen that he or she avoids you. Such statements portray you as a needy, whiner which would not seem to be so attractive to any lover.
3.“ You have changed”
This statement does not make any sense in the middle of a heated argument. Over the time each and every person is bound to change including personal, physical and physiological changes. Then, how can you expect the other person to remain the same forever. It is completely unfair on your part.
4.“Why cannot you behave like so and so”
You should never make comparison between two persons. No two people can be alike. There will always be difference in two people. Even twins are not alike in every aspect. Thus, never try to compare your partner with any other person. Specifically you should not compare them with their friend. You were quite aware of negatives and positives of your husband or wife before you decided to enter the relationship. If that time it did not bother them, then why now?
5.“ My parents warned about all this”
Pulling some third person in your fight especially your parents is the worst thing you could do. If that was the case then you should have listened to them before marriage. Phrases like this will only leave your partner becoming suspicious about your family.
6.“I’m getting a feeling that you are hiding something”
This sounds very irritating specifically to the guys when partner goes on inquiring about what are they hiring. The guy may be just generally feeling depressed and would like to sit in front of the television. Even if he is not telling you something, poking him constantly would not help. This would only make things worse.
7.“Sorry! I was distracted, what were you saying?”
This is the worst thing that you could do to your partner. It is quite obvious that you do not wish to hear anything against you. But still ignoring what the other person is saying o being distracted to his or her argument is very disrespecting. For solving an issue, always you need to give an ear to your partner. This happens mostly with the married people. They start taking their partner for granted.
8.“This is just the typical you”
Pointing everything annoying at you partner is just not done. You need to understand that it is not the person who is the problem but just some of his or her actions. Thus, do not ever give this statement.